A kitchen engineering marvel

Making my frequent pass through Uncle Wally’s, you know, the kind that one makes when they do not need anything that they can think of, but they are hioping to spot something they need. A definite short term depression buster, buying something is. Anyways, I spied a can opener, a big sucker, that said on the box, “opens tab cans.”  That did it. I would definitely save enough cans of dog food to pay for it. A feel-good rationalization.

I rushed home in anticipation, knee-steering the truck as I eagerly opened the box and glanced at the instructions. The wind blew the instructions out of the truck. A can opener, who needs instructions? Disclaimer: Now be careful knee-steering, kids. This is only for experienced texting adults, and not even for them on motorcycles! Do this at home only!

New scene, kitchen counter. Plugged that sucker in. Grabbed a can of tab-less tab-top dog food. Whirrrrrrrrrrr. Rats, it did nothing, says I as AtD (Annie the Dog) watches with interest. The lid is not cut off, cut open, exploded off or otherwise separated from the can. “Crap”, says I.

So I decide to give the can opener one more try. It is supposed to open either end of most cans, and this can looked rather most to me. Whirrrrrrrrrr. About part way around, the down pointed top, along with a pile of dog food, dumped onto the kitchen counter! What the hey? I stared at the mess through the endless can. No sharp lid edges. No spilling juice from the can, until the top fell off the bottom.

A miracle machine! Once I learned to trust it, to push the opened-without-sharp-edges top off with my thumbs, the new fangled machine was viewed as an engineering marvel. Ye should have more faith than I on the initial use, however.

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